summer beckons

with exams just tomorrow, it seems my mind's negating this spatial time of 2 weeks and wondering off to a period sometime further...when exams aren't the agonizing impetus to drag myself out of bed, and the painful draw to swallow page after page of journal articles. it's kinda disturbing how i'm rather relaxed, not really flustered about it yet. well there's this sense of an impending flurry of anxiety, but it's still in the depths of my stomach. it's yet to surface in a nauseating reflex to regurgitate.

it's not like i've been hard studying the past few days. i've been pretty relaxed, doing a little here, a little there, allowing myself to be distracted in between the bursts of readings (which felt like i was dunking myself constantly in a process of torture). but then i feel confident for the first three papers. stats, math, intro to politics. world pol's going to feel like a gp paper to me so i really pray i'll be in the mode for cramming essays. then the worst paper's to follow, with world economy. the dread of studying a subject as inert and unengaging as world economy! it's like having to staring at a cake of fat on the plate knowing u have to down it. it's not a subject that's very useful, very interesting, u just have to memorize it and regurgitate (well hold it in your throat until the exam then reguritate). uckk.

but for now there's an unsettled peace within me. the calm before the storm perhaps. literally everything's passed through my mind except the stuff i need to know. images of singapore, of friends back home, of summer plans, of the gig, of eastern europe with perry and pompidou, of meeting up with jo in london, of finally being able to come up for air again, of everything really. of recent conversations and mental revisionism of memories, of resolutions and anticipation. UGH! i pray this 2 weeks goes by in a whirl. in a blur. going for a walk before going to sleep. pray i do well for tomorrow's paper yea?