on euthanasia and such.

it takes such times for us to question what love is. these sensations(?), urges, impulses or a plain aching, longing, or even sense of impossibility to do without. its really handy that songwriters do most of the thinking for us, serving us inspiration and perspectives from which to choose from, and it's even more peculiar how the apt songs seem to always play on the radio, at the opportune moments. switch it on and 'i will follow you into the dark' or 'hey there delilah' simply have to play right from the start.

so what really is the feeling of love? or rather, what emotions or sensations does love manifest within, that we may know and recognise it as the elusive thing we all so arduously seek? from recent events, i figure it probably is easier to recognise it from its troughs than from its moments of euphoria. euphoria often is disguised in the likes of thrill, novelty, surprise, and while an integral facet of the human experience, lacks any continuity beyond the experience or memory of the events they are based upon. in contrast, troughs in a relationship have the knack of showing what one can't live without. and only at the brink of losing that which means the world to us, do we realise its value to us. which is a tragic cliche of the human faculty to love. or should i say truth? for u really never know for sure what mettle your affections stem from before it is put to the test. friends come and go, to a slight whiff of despair in your heart, but when a tumultuous panic races through your guts with a feeling of sick and emptiness at the thought of losing or not seeing someone again, abandon all notions that love is made of sugar and spice. for fear is the heart of love (i finally see what the deathcab lyrics mean!), that we may never be or come to meet again.

short of being cheesy, a recent comment on the radio struck me as poignant - you do not (or may not?) know you love someone if you can live with the person, but you'd know you love someone when you can't live without him.

on euthanasia: which weighs suffering against the quality of life. warranted, it is escapist at the most fundamental level, an action of regret and despair for the loss of quality in life, and intrinsically a reprieve from the resulting pain. surely i'm paying little respect to death in drawing such parallels, but it strikes me as a most apt analogy to a decision which has been blankly staring at me. can the pain of having known and not know ever overcome the pain of watching something prized and loved degrade into nothing, or into a sad existence? it hasn't happened yet, but i know i'd be paying this love and friendship no respect if i simply stood by and watched it die.