Everything -- Lifehouse

Song reflecting my present mood. I guess this is how i'll feel when it does happen.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength,
that keeps me walking.
You are the hope,
that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms,
and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands,
you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart,
and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in?
Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want,
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need,
You're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

explained: misery of a crush

"perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically-- to those who hardly think about us in return"-- T. H. White

'nuff said.

Always Getting Over You -- Angela Ammons

Another song that brings me back to J1 days! Those were the happy carefree days when Alvin, Amos and I really did tonnes of crazy stuff together. Kinda american pie-ish, which is where the song comes from btw.. Who said american pie was just abt sex? It's also abt the friendships and the fun side of school. Terrorizing teachers, skipping lectures, finding fun, excitement and our place in school.
To the memories my two classmates and I etched in jc, RJC, 2003-2004.

Was I not enough stimulation
Hit by a brake the other day
Just when I thought that I'm okay
You didn't like my conversation
I can't come up with something new
It doesn't really matter what I do
So here's my observation
You could never see it through my eyes
And I'm too tired to try

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was it too much aggrevation
Your telling me the way that I won't see
And then I change my mind you disagree
I used to be our inspiration
You chase your mind you disappear
And I know it's never over

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

Was I not enough stimulation
Hit by a brake the other day
Just when I thought that I'm okay
You didn't like my conversation
And I can't come up with something new
It doesn't really matter what I do

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

Do do do do do
Do do do do
Do do do do do

So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

So don't call and say your coming back for me
I'm always getting over you

so fucking screwed.

don't you just hate it when you're driving on the road, u're fighting to stay awake, and then nothing, and then, *BRANGGGGGGGGGG*. you find yourself right next to the centre divider of the highway, knowing that you've hit it. then the thought races through your mind. momentarily. did that just happen for real? it registers. why did it have to happen?! that 1-2 secs of surreal moment and you're left with heaps of trouble and fear that you could have just died.

when that's passed, and you hear the hissing of the wind next to your ear, you know there's no hiding it from your parents. there's smth seriously wrong with the car door and it's not going to pass off as a little dent. so i'm sitting here at 3.30am in the morning thinking, now i have to wake up at 7 to let my dad know what happened. before he finds out for himself. so fucking screwed. i guess i have to prepare myself to get barred from driving the car for a while. so screwed. so fucking screwed. ugh. things really aren't going good the past few days. help.

Blind -- Lifehouse

To the joys of knowing, and the sorrows of having known.
To paintings that should be admired from afar, and never touched.
To ruining them and never being able to mend them.
An image is best when all you know of it is all there is to know.
Delusional? Beauty. Every painting needs a frame to mark the limits of what we see of it.
And so, let the things we can't control fleet into nothingnesse,
drink from oblivion and bask in the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
Jan 06 - May 06.

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when
I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this timeI never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when
I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when
I let you go

Love Song For A Saviour -- Jars of Clay

For the strength and perspective, the anasthesia and solace.
For friends so diverse i wouldn't otherwise make, for pointing out sunsets and butterflies amidst the mud and grit.
For singing Christmas carols in the heat of a jungle, for tests that revealed myself to me.
For camaradarie and love amongst men, who've shed tears blood and sweat.
For two of the best companions I've made, who stood by me even as I was at the edge, for memories of helmets falling out windows and digging graves through the night.
For taking each step with me, right onto the parade square.
For calming 9 months of emotions-- hate, sorrow, pain, angst, lethargy, excitement and anticipation; As i sang this song under my breath and marched towards the end of OCS.
OCS, Jun 05 - Mar 06.
In open fields of wild flowers
She breathes the air flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daisies and the roses
In no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter
Or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat
Or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust him
And learn how to see him
Someday he'll call her
And she will come running
Fall in his arms, the tears will fall down
And she'll pray

I want to fall in love with you

Sitting silent wearing sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it
Goes to the people who stare into nowhere
Can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter
Or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat
Or a song on her lips
Someday we'll trust him
And learn how to see him
Someday he'll call us
And we will come running
Fall in his arms
The tears will fall down and we'll pray

I want to fall in love with you

Seems to easy to call you savior
Not close enough to call you a god
So as I sit and think of
Words I can mention to show my devotion

I want to fall in love with you

Fix You -- Coldplay

Here's to coffee, coldplay and the amber streets;
They speak for solitude, the cold, and the alienation. Timeless. Homeless.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Sugar We're Going Down -- Fall Out Boy

The happy moments of these past two days, May 06.

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it[x2]

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it[x2]
Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round
(Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
(Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet
(Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down (down, down)Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
We're going down, down in an earlier round
(Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
(Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (
Take aim at myself)
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Sway -- Bic Runga

Lisa, and everything in J1, RJC, 2003.

Don't stray
Don't ever go away
I should be much to smart for this
You know it gets the better
Of me sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say its all because of you and here I go
Losing my control
I'm practising your name
So I can say it to your face it doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth indeed its time
Tell you why
I say its infinately true

Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten
Every afternoon

Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Its all because of you
Its all because of you

You and Me Song -- The Wannadies

J1, RJC, june 03-sept 03.

Always will we find
I tried to make you love
'Til everything's forgotten
I know you hate that

Bop badada, bop bop bop bop
Bop badada, bop bop bop bop

Always will we fight
Kiss you once or twice
And everything's forgotten
I know you hate that

I love your Sunday song
The week's not yet begun
And everything is quiet

And it's always
You and me
Always and forever
You and me
Always and forever
Bop bop bop bop bop
It was always
You and me
Always

You tell me I'm a real man
I try to look impressed
Not very convincing
But you know
I love it I know we watch TV
'Til we fall asleep
Not very exciting

But it's you and me
And we'll always
Be together
You and me
Always and forever
Bop bop bop bop bop
It was always
You and me
Always and forever
You and me
Always and forever
Bop bop bop bop bop
It was always
You and me
Always and forever
You and me
Always and forever
Bop bop bop bop bop
Aaah...

If You're Not the One -- Daniel Bedingfield

J1, RJC, june 03-sept 03.

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I

Remembering the Music

Music is powerful. It has the ability to trap the memories and emotions we experience and feel in its bars and crotchets, its strains and tempo. So much of our lives (my life) are finger-tabbed with song titles and familiar tunes that encapsulate our thoughts and emotions, like in the way the smell of pizza invokes the us to salivate (for lack of a better analogy), that it is entirely possible to see our lives as a playlist of songs. With a song or two to encompass the entirety of a particular phase of life.

This is my attempt to recall the songs that have touched me, made me cry, made me smile, skip, scream inside, and to remember that like these songs, the imprints these memories have made on me are forever.