Warwick 2006

I'm flying of to Warwick this year! Managed to work out the clearance of leave to fit with the register-by-this date Warwick imposed. Imagine how excited I am right now! it's exactly 3 and a half months from now that I'll fly off to Warwick to register, so it's really a hell lot of things to do by then!

To get so many things (laptop, winter clothes, suitcases, textbooks), apply for so many things (leave, early release, exit permits, air tickets, visas, immunisations, bank account)! Which really adds to the excitement! A whirl of things to settle in a whooping 3 and a half months (actually I'd better get everything within 3 months)! And this couldn't come at a timelier period. What with all the moaning about emptiness and nothing to root myself emotionally to Singapore. It's really a blessing that came from no where! To be able to suddenly transpose myself to a totally foreign environment, where everything's new, people, experiences, culture, weather(finally!), and not to mention a well deserving end to the past two years of life in the army. All that regimentation and dehumanizing.. Not to say that I'm unhappy with my NS experience. I'm totally grateful for this NS path God's paved for me, but really, from a personal pt of view, and assuming ceteris paribus, we'd all rather do without it, get two years worth of experience else where no? So i really thank God for leading me through these two years and letting it all culminate with this Warwick 2006 thingy. You've really been watching over me and I'm ever so grateful for that.

Gotta go to work now. Will post back soon enough.

Ghost of a Good Thing -- Dashboard Confessional

Dashboard Confessional is a genius. What an analogy to use on this tendency to hang on to good times and blow them up to drown out any negativity. Delusional? Hah!

I guess it's luck but it's the same
Hard luck you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love but it's like you said
"Love is like a role that we play"

But I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But i believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say

But you're chasing the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you're chasing ghosts

I guess it's luck but it's the same
Hard luck you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love but it's like you said
"Love is like a role that we play"

But I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But i believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say

But you're chasing the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you're chasing ghosts

Just bend the pieces till they fit
Like they were made for it
But they weren't meant for this
No they weren't meant for this

Just bend the pieces till they fit
Like they were made for it
But they weren't meant for this

Chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away, away, away, away from you again

Chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you're chasing ghosts

Of Tides and Floods Not Taken

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a heart so heavy,
With a pain in your head and you can't tell
Why, surreality seems to have fused,
With the reality of farewells?

A regret of sorts, of things unsaid,
Of things that might, of fears we made.
Questions that never cease to ask
Of what ifs, of signs so apparent...
We must've been blind!

Aren't we then masochists
To seek solace in the fears we make?
Freezing in limbo tiny voices inside
That screamed hopes of a better future?

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a heart so heavy,
With a fear of rue, of time that slips?

Why, carry in all the songs we love,
Lyrics we subscribe to of break and bury,
Of lights that'll guide us home they say.
But often we're too scared to follow,
To remove blindfolds and simply trust,
The tugging inside before it breaks to bane.

There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

- Shakespeare in Julius Caesar.

We all fear uncertainties and the things we know too little of to control. The 'what if-s' or 'perhaps-es'. Rationalising our motivations, nominating values of chance and probability to the paths before us, hoping that just maybe. Just maybe, it'll be as simple as a math equation. That maybe I'd find the one right answer as with chem or bio or physics. But we'd never know would we? For all the hemming lets slip the flood; that, which we console ourselves with the pessimism of the things which could have been.