step 3

i feel extremely loved. thanks for all the concern everyone! yeemeng, for accompanying me to the white house and back, the guys for the 'lifts' ard, xiaoyan for the instant porridge and PORK FLOSS (havent had that in ages), and everyone who came out especially for me. haha i hope u guys had fun getting shit high and drunk. COS I DID NOT HAVE FUN AT ALL. bleargh. hahaha. hope i didn't scare anyone too bad. i know i gave myself quite a scare.

Eve, The Apple Of My Eye - Bell X1

You left it, I sent it
I want it back
You left it, I sent it
I want it back

If I had you here, I'd clip your wings
Snap you up and leave you sprawling on my pin
This plan of mine is oh so very lame
Can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

You left, I died,
I went and you cried
You came, I think
But I never really know
I've served my time
I've watched you climb
The wrong incline
But what do I know

Accept it, Don't let it
Turn the screw
Accept it, And let it
Scream back at you

Now this applies both equally to you and I
The only thing we share
Is the same sky
These empty metaphors
They're all in vain
Like can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

In the garden Snake was a charmin'
And Eve said let's give it a try
Now lead us not into temptation
But no matter how hard I try
When in the garden and Snake is a charmin'
And Eve says let's give it a try
Eve is the apple of my eye

And I lie behind you
And a cradle you in the palm of me
And I pat your hair down
I think will we sink or swim?
'Cause we could do either on a whim

stumbled on this song i got off a friend's library. v sad song but it's beautiful. lyrics and all. poignant. and on repeat.

no man's land

there's a vacuum in between the consciousness of men, where our individual comprehension of fact does not exist. a no man's land of sorts, where your mind contends with the hostility of doubt and uncertainty. for it is only where our feet safely tread that we can call ours, not where we fear unsuspecting consequences.

london calling

it really is a beautiful city. i love how it never fails to make me feel alive. despite the agonizing coach journey, i always find myself leaning to the window when the coach pulls in past oxford street, down pall mall past the dorcester, buckingham palace and the massive buildings before arriving at victoria. it's been more than half a year since i last visited her and it feels really good to be back. truly a city that doesn't sleep, an insomniac's haven. where your insignificance in such a vast city breeds a sentiment of alienation, not repulsive, but to the advantage of individualism. no one cares what you wear and you can dress up, take the tube without having the world judge you for it. can't hardly wait to return.

guys nite

i've almost forgotten how much fun it is hanging out with a group of guys..last night's mahjong session was really hilarious (ok except when benjamin kept speaking with the hongkong accent and adding 'lah' to everything. almost reached over to slap him)! well it might have been more fun for me than for them cos i was the SOLE WINNER maybe...hahaha totally milked them dry. bulk of the conversation was also in anticipation of what will happen tonight when a bunch of freshers come over for drinks at our place! hahaha will just have to wait and see how much of last night's testosterone manifests in actions this evening!

on the meaning of frugality

i am thoroughly impressed with myself! yes..even i thought i had been extravagant about a lot of things and had to start worrying about money trickling away towards alcohol and clothes (what with the decadence of summer and this epicurean lifestyle). but what happens when weixi helps me list my expenses these 2 weeks and compare them vis-a-vis everyone else's? i've emerged as the most frugal of everyone. with living expenses not exceeeding 300 pounds inclusive of everything bought for the house! and so it's been absolutely encouraging, the amount i'd save by december to bid for a good winter vacation! definitely gonna cut back on noodlebar and union nights. the chinese really know how to suck u dry on cash.

random shouts

so the days seem to be skirting by in haste, though i can hardly remember what i do each day. they've been functional i suppose. but not necessarily satisfying enough.

everything we need to get for the house seems to be settled. well almost. our shower heater's down so i've been running out of icy cold showers trembling absolutely cold like a furless monkey in siberia. that'll beat looking like a monkey trooping down queensland ave with a towel and slippers just to shower at a friend's.

the kitchen is constantly in a state of disarray. i swear all girls should be put through army. they have little sense of what cleanliness and order is. leaving food uncovered over night, wrappers trash and undone dishes left on the counter, groceries in their bags everywhere. it's time to mother these ppl.

i do feel myself getting lazier. semi-dysfunctional in an epicurean kinda sense. shall i attribute it to the cold? partly really. the duvet is the most inviting spot in my massive room, which means i hit the snooze button at least twice each morning. time to cut down on the decadence too. it's starting to hurt the pocket. michelle, quit talking to me about what i write here. lest i migrate this elsewhere.

there. monday blues, in black.

sun's mine moon's yours (cont.)

so shuqi poses me a problem with my concept of eliminating time difference-- a part of the world will always be working in the dark, leading to an unfair dependence on energy. the solution? we fly up giant mirrors into space of course! reflect the sun's light to the dark regions of the world! that'll save us lots of energy too! to this she adds 'what if ppl want to sleep?' then we flip selective mirrors so that areas that needs to be dark, will not get the reflected light! duhhh...

autumn's colourful canopy

stupor-ed again

snippets from tonight:

michelle: i'm not even drunk. i'm just like half drunk.
peter: michelle, do you want to go all the way? (everyone stares at peter)
me: is that seriously how you proposition girls?

a really high peter makes a valiant attempt to do a push-up and clapping behind his head

peter fools kent into drinking from the rubbish cup (where we dumped the left overs of wine, gin, rum, lime and other shit)

danny's drag days are exposed (he supposedly has a female lookalike)

michelle calls my name and talks to yeemeng for the next minute

grace: i can stuff my fist in my mouth! (attempts to do so)
peter: really? let me try!

yeemeng: (while trying to down a shot blowjob style) fuck i think my jaw's cramping

i can't rmb what else, but it's just been a night filled with laughter and good cheer. i miss these guys, and it's really great to be in their company again! shall not do this night injustice and douse it with discontented sobering thoughts.

settling in with four pounds.

there's nothing like settling into life on four pounds ave with a glass of rum coke at 1pm! here're some shots of the exterior of our house. i love owning a driveway. it's like your little private property outdoors.

sun's mine moon's yours

i hate the concept of time difference. wouldn't it be great to have everyone in the world functioning according to the same time? who'd care if the sun or moon was up, but that waking hours were consistent. think of the benefits -- no one would ever have to be jet-lagged, bankers and brokers wouldn't have to worry about markets halfway around the world, and i wouldn't have two time-pieces in front of me. we're not even talking spatial separation yet. it's man's misconception of time. it divides and hinders communication. even for the rest of the world.

alcoholic stupors

did i mention that it's been bloody cold? it's been absolutely horrid!

dinner at noodle bar was utterly disappointing! the waitresses actually forgot our order for mains so we had wonton soup and dimsum for dinner. pathetic. left me with no choice but to settle for curly fries at varsity. last night at varsity pub was rather fun though, had a gd chat with jem (its been a while..) over some beers, and then others like sharlene (my distant cuz!) ym weixi meisum shuqi and a couple of freshers came down. pity my body clock's all messed up and i get really sleepy by 10 plus (sharlene and i were DYING to get back home to sleep) and can't sleep a minute past 8.30am. what a bummer.

i love staying off campus. i feel alive again. out of the bubble that is warwick university. i need city life, being able to pop by the shops, supermarkets and restaurants easily. now it actually feels that there's something more to term-time life than just lessons and drinking.