Aubade

Seems yet another milestone's fast approaching and that all too familiar nostalgia's beginning to churn again. who'd have thought back in first year that i'd say i loved warwick and the people here. but tis true. the odd juxtaposition of green pastures and concrete buildings, asian scholars and canley chavs. i must admit there's something about this place that finds its way to them heartsrings.

And short of sounding tres encule, i do feel sad when conversations turn to our post-graduation plans. ym and jem are going to the states, and the hk ppl are gonna be well, either here or bk in hk. change and the uncertainty's definitely exciting. but i'm not thinking about that. inertia always gets to me and i kinda want to prolong this state. and it certainly doesn't help to have exams to shorten and intensify this farewell. a year, three years, have flown by way to quickly. the memories are still too vivid to say they're history. but how much i've grown, and the person i am now. i've much to be thankful for. here's to the wonderful 3 years in warwick, and to the people who've painted this canvas.

Fallout Boy 'Folie A Deux' Review - BBC's Elle J Small

I simply adore the BBC music reviews. They're merciless. Not just to the artistes but to the kind of people the music attracts, implicitly (maybe not so) vindicating their personal music preference as a universally objective judgement. But who cares? It's hilarious and makes for a good read. Just as long as I don't find myself being described. Haha! Here's the piece:

by Elle J Small
19 December 2008

''We have never been a critically acclaimed band'', scribbled Fall Out Boy's bassist/lyricist Pete Wentz on his blog just days before completing the band's latest album. At least he's not disillusioned. Genius album artwork aside, there is little about Folie À Deux that will float even the kindest critic's boat. Much like their previous efforts, Fall Out Boy's fifth studio LP is punk-pop for emos, not journos. The boys couldn't care less though, having sold over 6.5 million units and counting.

It is easy to attack Folie À Deux, with its jarring lyrics (''Throw your cameras in the air/ Wave them like you just don’t care''), samey, samey upbeat, over-emotional tracks and shameful cover (Michael Jackson's Beat It - why even bother going there?). It is also easy to see how its blatant cheesiness and commerciality could win young fans over worldwide. Brimming with catchy hooks that creep under your skin like dirty nicotine, feel-good drums and karaoke-friendly 'life' lyrics, this album has 'top ten' scrawled all over it. Sad but true.

Emo teens with eyeliner (and that's just the boys) all over the globe will be wetting their skin-tight black jeans after just one spin of Folie À Deux. If you don't fit in to that category, however, it is highly likely you'd rather eat sawdust than listen to the Fall Out Boys.

What a difference a year makes.

Dakota - Stereophonics

Thinking back, thinking of you
Summertime, think it was June
Yeah think it was June
Laying back, head on the grass
Chewing gum, having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs

You made me feel like the one
You made me feel like the one
The one

You made me feel like the one
You made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
When drinking was new

Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Didn't need to go far

You made me feel like the one
You made me feel like the one
The one

You made me feel like the one
You made me feel like the one
The one

I don't know where we are going now
I don't know where we are going now

Wake up call, coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you

I wonder if we'll meet again
And talk about life since then
Talk about why did it end

You made me feel like the one
You made me feel like the one
The one

You made me feel like the one
You made me feel like the one
The one

I don't know where we are going now
I don't know where we are going now

So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now

It Means Nothing - Stereophonics

Did we lose ourselves again?
Do we take in what's been said?
Do we take the time to be
All the things we said we'd be
Bury heads in sand
But my future's in my hands
It means nothing
It means nothing

You can find yourself a God
Believe in which one you want
'Cos they love you all the same
They just go by different names
When we fly our flag today
Are you proud or just ashamed?
It means nothing
It means nothing

It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you

And the sun sets in the sky
You're the apple of my eye
If the bomb goes off again
In my brain or on the train
I hope that I'm with you
'Cos I wouldn't know what to do
It means nothing
It means nothing

It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you

But it's not really my choice to make is it?

on euthanasia and such.

it takes such times for us to question what love is. these sensations(?), urges, impulses or a plain aching, longing, or even sense of impossibility to do without. its really handy that songwriters do most of the thinking for us, serving us inspiration and perspectives from which to choose from, and it's even more peculiar how the apt songs seem to always play on the radio, at the opportune moments. switch it on and 'i will follow you into the dark' or 'hey there delilah' simply have to play right from the start.

so what really is the feeling of love? or rather, what emotions or sensations does love manifest within, that we may know and recognise it as the elusive thing we all so arduously seek? from recent events, i figure it probably is easier to recognise it from its troughs than from its moments of euphoria. euphoria often is disguised in the likes of thrill, novelty, surprise, and while an integral facet of the human experience, lacks any continuity beyond the experience or memory of the events they are based upon. in contrast, troughs in a relationship have the knack of showing what one can't live without. and only at the brink of losing that which means the world to us, do we realise its value to us. which is a tragic cliche of the human faculty to love. or should i say truth? for u really never know for sure what mettle your affections stem from before it is put to the test. friends come and go, to a slight whiff of despair in your heart, but when a tumultuous panic races through your guts with a feeling of sick and emptiness at the thought of losing or not seeing someone again, abandon all notions that love is made of sugar and spice. for fear is the heart of love (i finally see what the deathcab lyrics mean!), that we may never be or come to meet again.

short of being cheesy, a recent comment on the radio struck me as poignant - you do not (or may not?) know you love someone if you can live with the person, but you'd know you love someone when you can't live without him.

on euthanasia: which weighs suffering against the quality of life. warranted, it is escapist at the most fundamental level, an action of regret and despair for the loss of quality in life, and intrinsically a reprieve from the resulting pain. surely i'm paying little respect to death in drawing such parallels, but it strikes me as a most apt analogy to a decision which has been blankly staring at me. can the pain of having known and not know ever overcome the pain of watching something prized and loved degrade into nothing, or into a sad existence? it hasn't happened yet, but i know i'd be paying this love and friendship no respect if i simply stood by and watched it die.

Eve, The Apple Of My Eye - Bell x1

You left it, I sent it
I want it back
You left it, I sent it
I want it back

If I had you here, I'd clip your wings
Snap you up and leave you sprawling on my pin
This plan of mine is oh so very lame
Can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

You left, I died,
I went and you cried
You came, I think
But I never really know
I've served my time
I've watched you climb
The wrong incline
But what do I know

Accept it, Don't let it
Turn the screw
Accept it, And let it
Scream back at you

Now this applies both equally to you and I
The only thing we share
Is the same sky
These empty metaphors
They're all in vain
Like can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

In the garden Snake was a charmin'
And Eve said let's give it a try
Now lead us not into temptation
But no matter how hard I try
When in the garden and
Snake is a charmin'
And Eve says let's give it a try
Eve is the apple of my eye

And I lie behind you
And a cradle you in the palm of me
And I pat your hair down
I think will we sink or swim?
'Cause we could do either on a whim

who'd know this song would find its way onto my playlist again..and i'll have cold turkey for dinner.